What are the most important signs of a healthy relationship?
How do you know if yours is worth pursuing?
As Tolstoy once wrote in his novel Anna Karenina : “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”.
For a relationship to be healthy and happy, the following signs must be present.
Signs of a healthy relationship: You feel safe, secure…
A healthy relationship should be your safe nest – it’s where you feel protected physically and mentally.
If you feel your partner is a physical or mental thread, chances are you’re in an abusive relationship.
In a healthy one, there’s no guilt-trips, no emotional hostage, and no physical risks. Nor do you constantly watch your words and actions for fear of being beaten or abandoned.
You’re always at ease, and you believe your partner will be there to protect you no matter what.
In other words, you are listened to, and your ideas, opinions, and emotions are always taken seriously. You treat each other as partners, each seeing the other as an independent individual with their full rights, obligations, needs and requirements. This respect is expressed both in public and in private alike.
Both of you have a say in every decision you guys make as a team, and while you’re not always right, you’re never ridiculed or belittled for being wrong.
You like yourself and like each other
You feel more confident about yourself, and you know you deserve love and respect. You never feel like you’re not enough.
You can always be authentic when you’re with your partner, with no fears of being judged. You know they like the true you, and they know that you like them. Neither of you has to pretend, disguise, or compromise your true self in order to please your partner.
You trust each other
In a healthy relationship, you are assured that you understand each other.
You know and are content with your partner’s level of commitment into the relationship, and so is your partner.
You believe that your partner is always honest with you, and you always know what to expect of them.
You’re inspired to be a better person
While you never feel you’re not enough for your partner while in a good relationship, you have this constant inspiration to improve yourself everyday.
You feel encouraged to become a better version of yourself in all aspects. You are motivated to explore yourself, expand your networks, cultivate your talents, and pursue your dreams. You take better care of your health and physical appearance. You want to be a more beautiful, more intelligent, more interesting, more compassionate person.
It’s never a pressure from them, it’s this desire from inside of you to make yourself a better partner for your beloved..
You talk openly when there’s a problem
When you don’t share an opinion, you and your partner both are willing to talk directly to each other about it. You listen to each other, and try to put yourself in the partner’s shoes.
You consider your criticism thoroughly before letting your partner know about them. You give criticism to your partner and listen to theirs understanding that the words are constructive and are given out of true caring for each other.
You talk about the problem as it is and don’t try to blame each other about it. Instead, you operate on the belief that you are a team and will be working as a team to solve it.
Your contributions to the relationship are balanced
Have you ever felt you’re doing everything to build up the relationship, while your partner seems very oblivious about it? Do they nonchalantly receive your care and never have any gestures of giving back?
While many people say love should be unconditional, I personally believe a relationship should be a two-way street. This doesn’t mean everything has to be split to an exact 50 – 50 between you two, but both of you should enjoy a fair share of both the rights and responsibilities.
You may argue you are more of an outgoing and romantic person than him so it’s natural that you’re always the one who initiates a movie or bar date. But then he’s a good cook and should be enjoying making new dishes for you to enjoy.
If you love someone, you won’t allow them to give so much without taking anything either.